


I Can Kiss You For Free Now

by Amberly



Series: Just Like Heaven [11]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Vague angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27208864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberly/pseuds/Amberly
Summary: His insides were a riot of overgrown flower beds, bushes in need of pruning. When he tried to clear a space it was filled with something else--debris from his shipwrecked heart, mud from too much rain. It was a constant effort and Duo worked hard, so hard, to try and tidy it into something he could give away. Something neat and beautiful and with no sharp edges that he could offer with both hands, instead of what he had. Instead of slow seeping poison and the constant upkeep, the steady, leaching need for reassurance.
Relationships: Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell
Series: Just Like Heaven [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/405643
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	I Can Kiss You For Free Now

**Author's Note:**

> If I ever tell you I’m going to stick to a posting schedule know that I am a dirty rotten liar who lies. 
> 
> Suddenly kissing your best friend in a parking garage necessitates a certain amount of conversation. Sometimes those conversations go better than expected. Sometimes waffles are the reward for vulnerability.

What Duo liked best about the garden was how quiet it was. How serene, how on chilly, still mornings he could hear the ocean. Distant and steady, like the heartbeat of a lover. It was unfinished. The garden still had places waiting for plants. An open spot next to the bench where Duo knew Wufei planned on putting in a rock garden. He stared at that open spot, settled cross-legged on a cold stone bench, thinking about openings. Thinking about the possibility that existed in that of that empty, all of that carefully cleared space. Wufei, he thought, knew how to do that. Knew how to take a riot of space and clear something out, with purpose, settling something else in its place.   
  
Duo didn’t know how to do that. His insides were a riot of overgrown flower beds, bushes in need of pruning. When he tried to clear a space it was filled with something else--debris from his shipwrecked heart, mud from too much rain. It was a constant effort and Duo worked hard, so hard, to try and tidy it into something he could give away. Something neat and beautiful and with no sharp edges that he could offer with both hands, instead of what he had. Instead of slow seeping poison and the constant upkeep, the steady, leaching need for reassurance. Duo watched the world around him grow light and wished that he could be a rock garden for Wufei: smooth, easy to change. A place of beauty and peace in the chaos that was their lives.   
  
He’d woken up wound around Wufei like a vine, equally entangled and with his breath caught in his throat. Wufei was--beautiful. Wufei had always been beautiful, but this was different. Duo knew what he looked like now. Had seen him splayed out and vulnerable, armor off. His own armor was harder to remove. Was bark in some places, part of his skin, grown as he’d grown, but Duo tried. He wanted to be bare, equally disarmed in front of those smoldering black eyes. Maybe he had been. Maybe it was only now that he was starting to close back up, like a moonflower, blooming only at night, in the cover of darkness and snapping shut in the daylight.   
  
“Good morning.” It made Duo jump. Almost sent him off the bench, before he recognized the voice. Wufei, standing there in a pair of flannel pants and a sweater, holding out a mug of coffee. He smiled weakly at him, taking the mug and scooting over. Making room for Wufei, who sat next to him. Their shoulders were almost touching. Barely an inch between them, like Wufei was there but--waiting. Giving Duo space to hold the distance, if he wanted to. Duo took a sip of his coffee and thought about it. Remembered the lips on his, the way the gaze of Wufei’s nails against his scalp had sent electricity through him, sudden lightning on a dry bed of kindling. He sipped his coffee and drew his legs up. Crossed them, let his knee rest on Wufei’s thigh.   
  
“Good morning,” he said at last, setting his coffee mug down. Wufei did the same, watching him out of the corner of his eye. Wary. The expression sent a quick stab of guilt though him. That is not what Duo wanted.Wufei, walking on eggshells around him. Wufei, unclear of the lines and afraid to ask. He leaned back, resting his hands on the bench. Managed not to flinch at the cold--cold he barely felt a moment before. Now with the warmth of Wufei next to him it was impossible to ignore it. To brush it aside the same way, and Duo bit his lip as he spread his fingers out. Wufei’s hand was there, and Duo let his pinky touch his. Carefully hooked his pinky over his and held his breath, looking up at the sky. The way it lightened, slowly. Changed color with the addition of the sun.   
  
It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to say. It was that there was too much to say. All of his words caught between his throat and his mouth and Duo breathed slow and careful so as not to choke. There were too many things. Too many words and feelings jumbled together and Duo didn’t know how to pick the right ones. How to create a bouquet beautiful enough to make him worth the effort. But this, he reminded himself, was Wufei. Wufei, who had seen him break down. Who had held his hand when he’d not-quite-but-almost cried, held his hair back when he threw up. Wufei was Duo’s favorite hiding place, quiet secrets whispered to each other in the dark, at night in their kitchen. On beds in safehouses for more years than Duo had ever thought he’d have. Wufei, who got him. Who wouldn’t begrudge him one word out of order.   
  
“I had no idea you were such a good kisser.” Duo went red. Watched Wufei out of the corner of his eye and felt a funny twist in his stomach as pink blossomed on his cheeks, too. He swallowed. Did what only he could do, what he knew best to do, barrelling forward with all of his feelings facing first, fear a soft hiss at the back of his brain, chasing after them as if it could catch them. Corral them back into place and leave Duo silent in the wake of the moment. The Moment, Duo thought to himself. Because that’s what this was. The Moment, where he could speak up or shut up and both actions would change things. There was no going back and Duo felt it swell.   
  
“What I meant,” he started again, slowly. Shifted his hand to cover Wufei’s more fully. “Is that I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now. If I’d...I didn’t think you’d want to do it back. Or I’d have done it sooner.”   
  
“I see.” Wufei’s voice was careful. He looked sideways at him, their gazes meeting at an angle and then jerking away. “I did want to. Do want to.” There was a pause. Wufei turned his hand. Took Duo’s in his own and squeezed. “I also want--more than that.”   
  
“Oh good,” Duo exhaled heavily. Gratefully, squeezing back. He turned to face Wufei fully. _I can touch him_ , he thought to himself. _I can kiss him, if I want._ Every touch he’d held back was there, now. He could take it, run his hands all over Wufei, sling an arm around his neck and hug him and tuck his feet under his thigh and know Wufei wanted it, liked it too.   
  
The fear hit sharp and sudden. Duo’s fingers were on Wufei’s face. Had brushed back a lock of hair and lingered, tracing over Wufei’s cheek. And Wufei--Wufei had closed his eyes. Leaned into the touch with a soft noise of want that made all of Duo’s hair stand on end. Made him painfully aware of how fragile the man in front of him was, how easy it would be to wound him. Make all of his beautiful open close back up, and Duo. Shuddered. Let out his breath and leaned forward. Rested their foreheads together.   
  
“I can’t keep this casual.”   
  
“I wouldn’t ask you to.”   
  
“I know. Duo--I’m not asking you for anything. I’m happy to accept whatever you give.”   
  
There was a world of weight in that statement. An offering so perfect Duo reeled. Could barely breathe with it, heart stuttering to a stop. Starting again in a rhythm that sounded like Wufei’s name. There was a difference between being kept and being caged and Wufei knew it. Had offered it to Duo with himself. Understood that there were still places Duo had to walk alone, wouldn’t let anyone into yet.Couldn’t let anyone into yet. Terror still gnawed on his bones at night and Duo--wanted. Wanted what the man in front of him was offering, wanted to give it back as best he could and he cupped Wufei’s face gently. Ran his thumbs over his cheekbones as he let out a shaky breath.   
  
“I was thinking I could give you me,” Duo says at last. “If you want it.” Thin, strong fingers wrapped themselves around Duo’s wrists. Squeezed as Wufei pulled back to look at him. Duo had no experience being vulnerable but he tried. Tried to look Wufei in the eye clear and unguarded and full of the want he felt, the desire and need and all the ways Wufei had wrapped himself around his heart. Created a basket that Duo knew would keep it safe, no matter what.

The smile he got in exchange was soft. Small. A smile Duo recognized. Wufei had been giving it to him for months and Duo felt the bottom fall out of his stomach. Realized that maybe Wufei had wanted as long as he had wanted, maybe wanted longer. All the little lies he’d told himself over the past few months were ash, cinders burned on the banked heat of what gaze and Duo smiled back, bright and beaming and free of a cage of his own making. 

  
“I do want.” Wufei said, firmly. His lips were soft as they kissed. Firm, his fingers sliding into Duo’s hair and Duo sighed against his mouth. Parted his lips to Wufei’s tongue and pressed closer to him, still cradling his jaw in his hands. Sweet and soft and tasting of tea, and Duo smiled. Laughed softly as the kiss broke, violet eyes sparkling as he looked at him.   
  
“You know,” he said, running a hand through Wufei’s hair. Watching the thick, dark silk run through his fingers. “I think I’m most excited about getting to kiss you whenever I want.”   
  
“Not until you brush your teeth you can’t,” Wufei teased back, laughing as Duo pulled a face. He covered the hand still on his cheek with his own, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. “Go. I’ll make breakfast. Waffles?”   
  
“Waffles,” Duo said dreamily. Stole another kiss and stood, stretching deeply. Aware of the way Wufei’s eyes lingered on him. Felt the weight and realized he’d felt it before and dismissed it, and Duo felt a sudden thrill. Felt the tension he’d held onto for months release and rush away on the wind like so many dandelion seeds. He offered Wufei his hand, lips curved happily. “And more kissing, after I brush my teeth.”   
  
“Ah, so you want burned waffles. I see.” It was solemn, Wufei’s eyes a dark sparkle. Duo laughed. Threw his arms around his neck and kissed him despite his unbrushed teeth. Despite the chips of fear still rattling inside of him like flecks of pain. Wufei’s arms were around his waist, his lips against his, holding on like he never planned on letting go and Duo burst. Lit like a sunbeam and let himself soak into the warmth. Held on just as tight, making a promise he couldn’t give words. Not yet. But perhaps, one day. 


End file.
